Safe In My Shell: Why Is It So Hard to Be Vulnerable?

I recently visited a small church where I heard a woman give her testimony in front of the whole church. She shared different stories, some of which were rather personal. But through these stories she revealed how God did great things to draw her to Himself. I admired her bravery to allow herself to be completely open. I, on the other hand, am not always so willing.

Sometimes it’s hard to be vulnerable. Ok, often times.  I don’t want others to see my weaknesses or to know my fears. If they see me for who I really am, what will they think? Will I lose my credibility as a “normal” person if they really knew what went on inside my head and heart?

Why do I resist being vulnerable? If I really think about it, I think it comes down to pride. My pride keeps me from letting down my guard. I want to control who sees what of me when I feel like letting them see it. By giving in to pride, I trap myself within an inner prison. The crazy thing is that the key to my liberation is in my possession, but I choose not to use it.

Photo by emples

I can’t truly live in the freedom that Christ offers when I keep myself locked up, and God can’t completely use me if I’m not willing to let Him glorify His power in my weakness. One of the recent trials I have been trying to live this principle through has been my experience with a molar pregnancy. I wrote about it here. When I keep “glorifying God” as my focus, being vulnerable to myself, to Him, and to others is much easier. When I focus on myself, I have a tendency to hide in my shell.

We each have a story to tell, warts and all. There is power in my story and there is power in yours.  We see God’s power when He takes a regular, ordinary, broken person and does amazing things with them. Never underestimate how God can and will use your pain and struggles to encourage another who is also on that same journey.

What keeps you from being vulnerable with others? How does God want to glorify Himself through your story?

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