1. Goes to church every Sunday. While most people are sleeping in, going for a jog, or watching sports, you are sitting in a pew, folding chair, theater seat or the like worshiping the Creator of the universe. Stated as such makes the non-church goer sound bad, but when you think about the fact that they don’t believe God is real, you’re the one that’s crazy. Definite quirk-alert!
2. Reads the Bible. It’s historically reliable, consistent across multiple manuscripts, and particularly relevant in spite of being over 2,000 years old. Who wouldn’t want to read this true, God-breathed collection penned by man under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit to guide their daily life? People who believe that it is just another book, that’s who. It’s a work of fiction based loosely on the life of a crazy, yet good, man who claimed He was God. That’s nuts. You’re quirky.
3. Doesn’t swear. By golly, you may use the alternate forms, but on a technicality, the real words never cross your lips (though your mind is a different story). If you are a quirky Christian, you will inevitably hear apology after apology when a non-Christian accidentally encounters a slip of the tongue in your presence. You notice they don’t apologize to others and it makes you feel…well…kind of quirky.
4. Prays before eating. Others chow down as soon as they find a seat at the lunch table, but you take a quick moment to give thanks to Him who provided you with the meal. When with other believers, you speak the blessing aloud, maybe even join hands. Sometimes you do it quietly trying to appear as if you’re merely taking a moment to breathe. Not as easy to spot, but still quirk-worthy.
5. Is nice to everybody. It may not be easy, but how can you get past the fact that even the most annoying person in the world is made in the image of God? When you try to follow everyone else’s lead and blow them off, the guilt is too much to bear. You have to be nice. Your new nature allows you no less. Welcome to Quirkville.
6. Doesn’t drink. Happy hours just don’t seem quite as happy to you because your Coke has left you 100% sober. Nevermind the fact that “buzz” and “drunk” are virtually synonymous to you since you’ve experienced neither. You’re okay with it, though, because the thought of puking your guts out or having a major headache the next morning isn’t particularly appealing. When the waiter at Friday’s rattles off a list of drinks that mean nothing to you, you know you’re quirky.
7. Can’t lie. Well, at least not for long. If your red face or diverting eyes don’t give you away, your conscience eventually will. What to most is a tiny, white lie easily played out, you find impossible to maintain. By the end of the day, you are caught in a tangled web and have no choice but to make the record straight and free yourself from this prison: “It was me. I jammed the copier.” This is most surely a quirk-attack in action.
8. Listens to Christian music. Forget polluting your mind with evil rock beats and sexually explicit lyrics. You can now more practically and effectively have the mind of Christ because you are listening to uplifting praise and worship music. Meditate on the truths of scripture via your Alternative Christian music radio station. Finally, music that is in the world but not of it! You think it’s cool, but it’s a quirk give-away.
9. Waits to have sex until marriage. You may have kissed dating goodbye, celebrated a second virginity, or maybe even bought a promise ring. Truth be told, you are determined to wait until you tie the knot before letting your hormones loose. On the other hand, the rest of the world feels the need to try before they buy. Maybe they waited until high school or college. Maybe they lived together before marriage to make sure it was going to work before they’d commit. Everybody’s doing it, but you’re not. Quirk!
10. Stands up for what they believe in. When presented with the choice to be silent or say something, you speak up. Then, you quickly wonder where your brain was when you made that decision. Speaking up puts a big, fat, red target on your back (or forehead) and the flaming arrows come in from all sides. You make it through the cross-fire with only a few soot marks. Then, the subject changes, you open your mouth again, and the cycle repeats. Quirky Christians suffer from quirk amnesia.
I’ve put my faith in Jesus Christ. I unashamedly follow Him.
Now– your list is border line legalistic– in my humble opinion.
The two I partially disagree with are: “Listen to Christian Music” and “Don’t Drink”. Not all “Christian” music is good for the mind and not all “Secular” music isn’t good for the mind. Not all ‘Secular’ music is bad. Yes, some music can mess unbiblically with the mind– but not all.
Scripture doesn’t say you can’t drink. Now– it does say you shouldn’t get drunk on it. Any excess of anything that pulls our minds, emotions and choices away from Christ is wrong. I do believe we need to be wise in how we talk about drinking and who we drink around. Make sense?
Hey Rob.
I agree with your points. This article was actually intended to poke fun at Christian stereotypes. These are certain behaviors typically associated with Christians and I was merely pointing out the fact that, while in comparison with non-believers these behaviors don’t make sense, there is actually some logical reasoning behind them.